Guard #666 was killed during the massive dungeon escape. Guard #666 was attempting to apprehend the villain responsible for this atrocious crime when the said villain disappeard in a cloud of pixie dust, causing our wretched hero to start in surprise. As Guard #666 was at the top of a spiral staircase at the time...Well, Guard #666 went tumbling down and broke his neck...



During the same dungeon rescue, Guard #5412 was pursued by Flora's teachers. These teachers believed that they had finally found an audience. They pursued the hapless guard up the stairs (the same stairs from which Guard #666 fell). Then, they cornered Guard #5412 in the Sheriff's chamber (it was empty at the time) and Guard #5412 could see only one possible escape: the window...



While guarding the castle gate, Guard #101 was trampled by the HUGE number of prisoners escaping from the dungeon!





Guard #59 was patrolling the streets of Nottingham when he caught sight of this HUGE crowd of fleeing prisoners! Guard #59 caught hold of the prisoner known as Clair (without an e!), but couldn't get her to stop. He would have let go, but she was running so quickly. When Guard #59 finally did gain the courage to do so, he was in the middle of the street. Before he could stand, a cart rode over him...



As usual, Guard #24 was muttering: "Who cares? I'm going to die anyway." This was the response Guard #24 gave to most things. If Gisburne ordered Guard #24 to accompany him through Sherwood, sure enough Guard #24 would reply: "Who cares? I'm going to die anyway." Well, Guard #24 did die, but not because of the dungeon break. I mean, Guard #24 was supervising repairs to the castle wall at the time! However, when a large hunk of the wall mysteriously fell, Guard #24 was supervising no longer...



Guard #27 was poisoned when King John paid a recent visit to Nottingham. The official food taster had mysteriously disappeared and the King needed an instant replacement. The Sheriff shouted for a guard and, as Guard #27 lost the draw, he was forced to attend to the King...



Guard #731 was mauled by a giant sow in Elsdon. My lord of Gisburne believes it is the handiwork of Jennet of Elsdon. In his mind, a pig so fantastically HUGE and so immensely POWERFUL had to be the result of witchcraft. However, despite the Abbot Hugo and the Book of Leviticus, Sir Guy was unable to prove his case.



Although Guard #42 evaded the porcine incident he also met his demise in Elsdon. Guard #42 made the mistake of trampling on Jennet of Elsdon's daughter's beloved cabbage. After glancing at the smouldering remains of his guard, Sir Guy decided that it would be in his own best interest NOT to question the girl...





Guard #46 made fun of my lord of Gisburne's blue cape...






Guard #290 had a tooth ache and so decided to visit Mad Mike, the 89-year-old second cousin of Mad Mab who had died so sadly in her prime. Anyway, what Guard #290 didn't realize was that Mad Mike didn't specialize in dentistry. In fact, Mad Mike specialized in nothing at all really...except madness. Oh, Mike extracted the tooth all right! However, he also decided to extract a few other things as well...





Tragedy struck when some over-enthusiastic voters stormed the castle gates and squashed the following BRAVE, VALIANT guards!: Guard #89 , Guard #99 , Guard #133 , Guard #47 . Oh, the humanity! Oh, the horror...Oh, the mess!




I am sad to report that Guard #16 has just died of mysterious causes. Someone who was near the scene at the time, "claims" that he heard hysterical laughter and a woman shouting with a funny voice. Supposedly, he heard such phrases as: "I'm taking you oot!" and "It's aboot time you met your maker!" I'm certain that this unknown assassin (if assassin she be) had very good reasons for what she did. I know NOTHING about it, of course, and will continue to know NOTHING no matter how much Sir Guy threatens me! Hee, hee...Ahem!










In the Dungeon Escape Saga, Guard #7 , Guard #20 , Guard #88 , Guard #98 , Guard #369 , Guard #791 were all viciously slain. They shall be remembered for the sacrifices they made out of duty and fear of the blue cape.










Three guards disappeared when my lord of Gisburne's site moved. Guard #63 , Guard #54 and Guard #1976 were lost in the rubble...



Guard #544 died valiantly and heroically to preserve Robert de Rainault's life. She had just been made one of the High Sheriff's personal escorts and had looked forward to serving him with pride. However, on the first day of her new duties, the Sheriff's party was surrounded by those filthy wolfsheads! When Will Scarlet seemed to become a little too hostile towards the Sheriff, Guard #544 attempted to intervene. The outlaw thought that Guard #544 was attacking him and the despicable cutthroat ran poor Guard #544 through with his sword. Guard #544's last words were: "Remember...Gisburne isn't a human being...He's a toy!" Touched by the soldier's words, the Sheriff has remembered Guard #544's words and tried to implement this philosophy as often as possible. My lord of Gisburne wishes that Guard #544 might have lived a little longer so he could have killed the guard himself!



Guard #1979 was killed by Will Scarlet when he imitated my lord of Gisburne. Guard #1979 was standing in the middle of Wickham wearing a blue cape and shouting such phrases as: "You miserable serf!" and "I'll teach you to worship trees!" He was also snapping his fingers above his head, a typical steward gesture Sir Guy often employs. Scarlet, who was visiting his favourite "nephew" Matthew, saw Guard #1979 snapping his fingers and promptly shot him. It’s very sad and I think we might actually miss Guard #1979.



Guard #603 just happened to be in Wickham (tracking down a missing horse if you must know) when Guard #1979 was shot. Thinking that this man with the blue cape was Sir Guy, Guard #603 leapt into the line of fire. The first arrow missed (as it hit Guard #1979), but the second one scored a direct hit.




Guard #58 , Guard #902 and Guard #98b were tragically stricken by the Y2K bug! We thought the barracks were Y2K compatible, but it seems we miscalculated...





Guard #2005 , Guard #483 , Guard #699 , Guard #55 and Guard #303 have disappeared and are believed to be dead. I thought we had accounted for all of the guards during the move, but these five apparently slipped through the cracks...



In honour of Canada Day, I thought it would be a great idea to re-inact The War of 1812...Unfortunately, things got a little out of hand and Guard #6 , Guard #37 and Guard #687 were kind of...um...squashed. Hey, it could have been a lot worse! I mean, if we had had the budget and I wasn't afraid of committing a HUGE anachronism, we might have been using real cannons and a lot more guards could have been killed!



Guard #173 , Guard #77 and Guard #8 were supervising the repairs to the castle wall as usual ('cause that's, like, their job) when they noticed a creepy band of cutthroats looming near the barbican. They drew their swords and attacked immediately, but they were no match for this evil group from...Yahoo! Yes, that's YAHOO! The Yahoo band was trying to keep their grubby little hands on the RoS Webring, but I moved it! So, ha, ha, ha! Yes, I need to get a life. Yes, I obviously have nothing better to do than attack Yahoo...but they invaded first! *g*








Tragedy has struck Nottingham Castle once again! Death is cruel even though it does like cats... *SOB!* A massive meteorite crashed into the side of the castle! A section of the wall collapsed crushing eleven guards in the barracks, who were involved in a riveting match of knucklebones at the time. After the guards in charge of supervising repairs to the castle walls had cleaned away the rubble, they found the bodies of Guard #369 , Guard #444 , Guard #19 , Guard #5 , Guard #902 , Guard #628 , Guard #487 , Guard #1189 , Guard #82 , Guard #411 and Guard #72

Dear friends, I'm sure that guards everywhere will remember you when they play knucklebones. In fact, I believe the guards at Nottingham Castle are attempting to fashion new game pieces out of the meteorite as we speak...




Guard #70 , Guard #791 , Guard #888b , Guard #1000 , Guard #44, Guard #1919 , and Guard #283 were all killed off in a particularly violent manner. Yes, they met their ends in a fic. Such senseless brutality could have been prevented if it wasn't for the sheer selfishness of the fanfic writer, who wields his/her pen with little consideration for the poor minor characters (like the average Nottingham guard) who are slaughtered for the entertainment of the public. It's truly despicable. As a fanfic writer myself, I'm shocked and appalled... *g*






As soon as Nasir the Saracen rolled into the sleepy town of Nottingham, Guard #333, Guard #562, and Guard #9012, were as good as dead. The dark, mysterious wolfshead had arrived at the castle looking for information as to the whereabouts of his rowboat. And he wasn't leaving until he got some answers...or had at least killed some guards trying. He tried and these guards died. I believe Nasir was about to move on to a fourth, fifth, sixth and seventh victim, when he was distracted by a merchant carrying a boat-shaped hunk of cheese. As Nasir began to pursue the merchant, the rest of the soldiers managed to escape. If only Guard #333, Guard #562 and Guard #9012 had been so lucky...




~ DEATH NOTICE AMENDMENT ~



Due to a clerical error (and a huge amount of protest from the Nottingham Bakery), I have discovered that Guard #333 was not the guard killed during Nasir's recent, uh, whatever. It was, in fact, an unidentified guard wearing Guard #333's helmet. On behalf of Sir Guy and the entire barracks, I would like to apologize for this slight (and perfectly understandable, I think) oversight on our parts. I will re-assign Guard #333 and place her back on active duty...once the rescue team from the Nottingham Bakery find her. She's apparently gone missing. Hee, hee, hee...ME!, I'm sorry we goofed. I fear you tremendously. Please don't kill me.

Well, I think that takes care of that. Thanks for listening.








Guard #756 , Guard #888a , Guard #807 , Guard #4009 , Guard #715 , and Guard #386 suddenly expired when I happened to make the following comment regarding the Nottingham guards on the RoS Yahoo Groups List: "I have a feeling some might die this week...Call it a hunch".

Uh...sorry.




Guard #552 , Guard #996 , Guard #216 , and Guard #111 died due to a statistical impossibility. It was statistically impossible for so many guards to survive for so long in the Sheriff of Nottingham’s employ, and, so, these guards were forced to meet their maker.




Guard #91 , Guard #532 , and Guard #804 reached their expiry date and...well...expired.






I forgot to water Guard #2034 and Guard #151 and they died. Sorry.