NUMBER: | 747 |
AGE: | 10 |
NATIONALITY: | I'm Canadian. More specifically,
I'm Nova Scotian. More
Specifically, I live in
Brooklyn. More Specifically, my
house is blue and white and
I live by a big RED barn
(a very nice big target for
unannounced ARSON attacks and cow
tippings). Oh yeah, we don't
grow cabbage anymore... |
Favourite past-time: | Kicking peasants |
If confronted by
wolfsheads, I would: | Stand really still and
pretend I'm a tree |
Best trait: | Men with blue capes
frighten me into submission |
The wolfshead I'd
like to arrest most: | Sir Bob of Robbers ridge.
I made him up, but he
really gets on my nerves!!! |
Reason(s) why I
picked this cutthroat: | This man once snuck into my
village. He had several sharp
pieces of metal hidden beneath
his concealing
cloak... Believe it
or not, he immediately targeted
my hut (I live in a one hut
town, but what are the odds of
him heading directly for mine!)!
The foul rogue entered my main
'meal eating room' and
proceeded
to my 'main chair for sitting in
while I eat'! What happened next
is almost too much for me to
bear to tell you about. The vile
brigand ate my seal blubber pie!
Then that hoodlum heated up his
metal pieces, and melted them
into the seat of my brand new
'chair of water that does not move'.
On his way out, the nefarious thug
cut the leather lashings binding
my dog team. My poor dogs were
eaten by a
polar bear! The wretched
goon then poured hot oil on the
ice surrounding my humble abode,
setting it afloat in the freezing
waters of the Northern Atlantic
ocean. For most of this,
I can forgive him, eh? I mean
who could resist playing some
of these hilarious pranks.
I had
lost almost everything, and was
barely afloat in instant hypothermia
causing waters, yet I had to
give it to the guy. I never
would have thought of such a
hilarious prank. I chuckled to
myself and sat down in my
'chair of water that does not
move.' The
feeling of those
quater-inch tacs, stabbing cleanly
into my rump, was a feeling
I would never forget. To this
day I have seven tiny piercings
on my bottom. For that, I
can never forgive Sir Bob. And
for that, I will hunt him down
until I become weary of it.
I have just become weary, and
need a job. How would you
like a brand new CAPTIAN OF
THE GUARDS who has no patience
for sneaky peasants, and
takes
every chance to grind his
heel on a prisoner's groping
hand while they wait for
their food? |
Favourite knight: | Sir Bud, brother of the
vile Sir Bob |
Reason(s) why I chose this knight: | I have reason to believe
that Sir Bud had once
stolen candy from the gaping
jaws of Sir Bob as a child.
For that, I honour and
idolize him.
HEY! DOESN'T THIS LOOK
LIKE CHARLIE BROWN!!! -> .). |
Reason(s) why I'm expendable: | Expendable! Who ever said
anything about expendable!
If anyone is expendable, Sir
Guy, it's Sir Bob! If I
were expendable, how would I
ever exact my revenge? I
believe even you, Sir Guy, are
more expendable than I, and would
fully expect you to take an
arrow in the chest for me!
Expendable! Me! Ha! |
I respect Sir Guy and
would willingly serve
him because: | What? SERVE? VERIMNAARD SERVE!
HA HAH HAH AHH HAHAHA
HAHAHHAHHAHAH HAHHAHAHAHA
HHAHHA HAHHAHAH HAHAH HAHAHHAHAH
AHHAHA! *hack* HA HA HA
*cough* HAH HA HAHA HAHAHHAH
HA! *sputter* HA HA! Why yes,
*ahem* Yes, of course *heh*
Of course I would willingly
serve you, Sir Guy. *Thinking:
"Heh, yes of course Sir Guy...I'll
serve you...I'll serve you
on a silver platter...Ahhh,
but what will I serve you on
this silver platter...Yes...Yes...
I know now what I'll serve you
on that silver platter...Dinner...
Yes, I'll serve him dinner...
He'll never expect it...
Heh heh heh...Hey, that's
no good! DOH! Hmmmm. Back to
the drawing board."* |
