Gisburne: I'm bored.
Sheriff: And you're telling me this because...?
Gisburne: You're my employer, my lord. You're
supposed to continually challenge me
with exciting new tasks and dangerous
missions...
Sheriff: You only JUST got back, Gisburne!
Do you realize how much work piled
up while you were away? You're
behind in the accounts, the west
wall needs attending, my back must
be scrubbed--
Gisburne: I never wanted to be a Norman knight.
Sheriff: You didn't? Then why did you spend all
those years as a page and squire? Why
bother with all of that training,
Gisburne? (Gisburne stares at the
Sheriff, then clears his throat).
Gisburne: I always wanted to be a Norman knight,
crashing through the hapless villages
of Nottinghamshire! With my squire at
my side--
Sheriff: Squire? What squire? (Gisburne pulls
Grifon out from under the table).
Gisburne: With my squire at my side, I'll shout!
Shout! Shout! Oh, I'm a Norman knight
who's not okay! I beat up serfs and I
yell all day!
Guard Chorus: He's a Norman knight who's not okay!
He beats up serfs and he yells all day!
Gisburne: I cut down sacred trees, I confiscate
someone's lunch and go to the garderobe!
Unlike the Guy in "Prince of Thieves,"
I still have my earlobe!
Sheriff: I thought he lost the top of his ear, not
the lobe...
Guard Chorus: He cuts down sacred trees, he
confiscates someone's lunch and goes
to the garderobe! Unlike the Guy
in "Prince of Thieves," he still has
his earlobe!
Oh, he's a Norman knight who's not okay! He beats
up serfs and he yells all day!
Gisburne: I cut down sacred trees, I skip and jump
cause Herne is after me...The TREES!
The TREES!
Guard Chorus: The trees?
Gisburne: (glares at the guards) I cut down sacred
trees, don a blue cape, hauberk and nasal
helmet! I'm glad I am cold-hearted just
like my cruel step-pa!
Guard Chorus: Cruel step-pa? There's another one?
Let's get out of here! (Guard chorus
flees quickly from the hall).
Grifon: Oh, Sir Guy, and I thought you were just
misunderstood! (Grifon flees quickly from
the hall).
Gisburne: I am...I am misunderstood!
Sheriff: No, you just don't understand...anything,
Gisburne. Now stop babbling about
chainmail and get some work done!
Gisburne: Yes, my lord.
Sheriff: And stop scowling!
Gisburne: Yes, my lord.
Sheriff: And stop calling me "love."
Gisburne: Yes, my...Hey, I'm not falling for that
one again! I'm going to go terrorize
some servants. I'll see you at supper,
darling. (Gisburne exits)
Sheriff: Norman knight indeed! I bet he hasn't
even heard of Hastings! (Sheriff grumbles
his way to the bath. Exeunt, etc.)
